Catherine Castro ibyo yavuze 9 bizira ku mugore ntibiri kuvugwa ho rumwe muri magazine Marie Claire!

Hari ibintu usanga abagore bibuza, kubera ko batekereza ko babikoze batagaragara neza mu bandi. Nyamara, ngo ugasanga bifuza ko bakabikoze !

Ese ibyo bintu ni ibihe ? Turebye muri magazine « Marie Claire », uwitwa Catherine Castro yabivuzeho :

   1  Kujya kurya muri restaurant nk’umugore nta muntu musohokanye : Akenshi ngo iyo umugore ageze muri restaurant ari wenyine, ngo uje kumubaza icyo afata bwa mbere akunda kumubaza ngo « ese hari umuntu utegereje ? » Ibi bikaba ari ibintu bibangamira abagore cyane, gusa, ngo hari abiyemeza bakabikora, ngo aho gusohokana n’umuntu udashaka byarutwa no kwisohokana !

2. Kuvuga ko utanyuzwe : Ngo usanga mu gihe cy’akabariro abagore bakunda kubeshya ko banyuzwe, ndetse bakemeza abagabo ko nta muntu wabasha kubashimisha nk’uko uwo yabigenje. Nyamara n’ubwo bikunda gukorwa gutya, ngo ubundi inama ya mbere yatuma urubariro rugenda neza, ni ukubwiza umugabo ukuri, igihe nta cyagenze akabimenya, maze ukazashyira ukaryoherwa nk’abandi !

3 Kugura umugabo wo kunganira mu rugo : Ubundi ngo usanga ibyo ari ikizira kikaziririzwa ko umugore wiyubashye yajya kugura umugabo wo kugira icyo amumarira ku mibonano. Nyamara nk’uko sociologue Janine Mossuz-Lavau abivuga, ngo « abagore bo biramenyerewe cyane ko umugabo abishyura ubundi bagakora ibyo yifuza hanyuma akigendera ». Ahangaha ngo dutekereje ku buringanire, ngo byaba bikwiriye ko uko abagabo babitinyuka bakanabyemererwa ariko n’abagore bakabyemerewe, maze ngo bakaringanira haba mu byiza… ndetse no mu bibi… (pour le meilleure… et pour le pire).

4 Gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina umugore ari mu mihango : Ibi ngo abagabo benshi cyane babifata nabi cyane, ndetse n’abagore benshi nabo bikaba uko. Nyamara burya ngo ntabwo ari « umwanda » nk’uko baba babitekereza ! Ngo niba hari ubyifuza undi yumva bishoboka, ngo byaba bikwiriye ko abantu bakwigishwa ko muri kiriya gihe nabwo bishoboka igihe bombi babishaka, ko atari umwanda !

5 Kugira ubwoya : Kwepiya (épiler), ngo ni ikintu cyazanye inkubiri nyinshi mu bagore, kugeza aho bamwe barwara kwepiya byanze bikunze, waba utabikoze ukabonwa nabi. Ibi ngo byatumye umustar umwe, Julia Roberts, yiyemeza kwifotoza amafoto akayashyira ahagaragara atabikoze, kugirango yerekane ko ari uburenganzira bw’umugore kwepiya cyangwa kutabikora.

6 Gutera inzenya zitiyubashye : Ubundi umugore ngo agomba guhora akeye, kandi akarangwa n’ikinyabupfura. Ntagomba kuvuga ibigambo abonye byose. Muri make ubundi ubwo ni uburenganzira bw’abagabo gusa. Sexologue Catherine Blanc, we akemeza ko ngo usanga mu mico myinshi kuvuga amagambo yerekeza ku bitsina bidakwiriye kumvikana mu kanwa k’umugore, ngo ni kirazira. Ariko se ngo kuki abagore bo batahabwa uburenganzira ku gutera igiparu, kuvuga amagambo uko bayashaka, kurakara no kuvuga nabi igihe bibaye ngombwa, dore ko atari ibintu bishyikira umuntu kuko ari umugore gusa cyangwa se umugabo gusa ?

7 Kugira indi nshuti nyuma yo gutandukana : Nyuma yo gutandukana (divorce) usanga ngo abagabo bamwe baza bashaka ubucuti, ariko bamara kumenya ko habayeho divorce ngo bakabivamo bwangu, aho bumva ko uwo mugore wibana watandukanye n’umugabo adashobora gutuma abantu bishima mu rukundo rwabo ; ngo kuko n’ubwo bakwishima ngo umubabaro utabura. Ariko se, ngo ibi byatuma icyo gihe umugore wongeye kuba celibataire yazahora asohokana n’abagore gusa, dore ko ku bagabo ho ntacyo bitwara nta n’ubyibazaho ?

8 Kureba amafilme ya pornographie : Umugabo ashobora kuba yabivuga ko azireba, ariko ngo kirazira kikaziririzwa ko umugore yerura ko areba amafilme nk’ayo. Ngo n’aho hagira umutungura, aba agomba gushaka uko abisibanganya. Ariko se haba hari itandukaniro ry’ubushake mu rukundo n’akabariro hagati y’ibitsina byombi ?

9 Gufata icyumba cya wenyine : Ubundi ngo kuryamana umugabo n’umugore, hari imico usanga byadutse vuba, kera bitarakorwaga bityo. Nyamara n’aho muri uwo muco byaba ari ibya vuba, ngo usanga umugore aba adakwiriye gufata icyemezo cyo gusiga umugabo mu cyumba akajya kuryama mu kindi, kubera impamvu runaka, cyangwa se ngo abe yareka umugabo agasinzira wenyine we akaba yakomeza kwirebera filme cyangwa se gusoma igitabo runaka yakunze kugera mu rukerera. Nyamara ku bagabo ugasanga byemewe bityo. Kuki umugore byafatwa nka kirazira ?