Ibikorwa nk’ibyo bizana urukundo mu biro by’abantu bakorana ntibyari bigishoboka mu gihe cy’icyorezo, igihe abantu benshi barimo bakorera mu ngo.
Ariko nubwo byari bimeze bityo abakozi babonye uburyo bwo gukomeza guteretana, ibyerekana ko bisa n’ibidashoboka guhagarika ibikorwa byo gukundana ku biro cyangwa ahantu abantu bakorera. Amakuru yo muri Gashyantare (2) 2022 ya kompanyi nyamerika yo gucunga abakozi (SHRM) agaragaza ko umubano w’urukundo ku kazi ushobora kuba wariyongereye n’igihe abantu bakoreraga mu rugo. Kimwe cya gatatu cy’abantu 550 babajijwe bemeje ko bakoze cyangwa bagerageje umubano n’umuntu bakorana mu gihe cy’icyorezo, inyongera ya 6% ugereranyije n’igipimo cya mbere ya Covid.
Ku kazi ni ahantu heza h’urukundo n’abakundana bitarambye.
Nyamara kompanyi nyinshi zanga gukoresha abantu bashakanye kuko zibifata nk’ikibazo gikomeye mu micungire y’abakozi.
Inzobere zivuga ko hari impamvu zinyuranye zituma abantu bakorana batabura kwegera abo bakorana ku mpamvu z’urukundo, nubwo bwose baba baraheze mu rugo nko mu gihe cy’icyorezo.
Ikintu kimaze imyaka nk’iy’ibihe
Nubwo iyi ngingo ifatwa nka kirazira yo kuganira, 75% by’abantu babajijwe mu bushakashatsi bwakozwe na SHRM bemeje ko bemeye gusohokana n’abo bakorana. Kandi kimwe cya kabiri cyabo bemeje ko mu gihe runaka bumvise bishimiye uwo bakorana.
Inzobere zivuga ko gukundana kw’abantu bakorana ari ibintu bimaze imyaka ibinyejana n’ibinyejana, nubwo bwose ibyo bigora kompanyi zikoresha abakozi.
Amy Nicole Baker, umwarimu muri kaminuza ya New Haven muri Amerika wiga ku bintu nk’ibyo hamwe n’imitekerereze mu bigo, agira ati: “Yewe no mu bihe bya mbere by’inganda za kera, bavugaga Rukundo n’ubwiza bw’abantu bakorana.”
Mu myaka ya 1800, ibiganiro by’urukundo hagati y’abakorana mu mirimo y’ubutegetsi byiswe “imyifatire itagira izina” n’ababinengaga icyo gihe.
Ariko hari ‘couples’ nyinshi zihurira mu kazi, kandi ibyo buri gihe ntabwo birangizwa n’igikuba (scandale), ahubwo bishobora no kuvamo ikintu cyiza nka Barack na Michelle Obama bahuriye mu kigo cy’abunganizi mu mategeko i Chicago ubwo bari bakiri mu myaka 20 na…
Imibare yo mu 2017 yerekana ko ‘couple’ imwe ku 10 muri Amerika abayigize bavuga ko bahuriye mu kazi.
Hari amakuru yerekana ko abantu bari hagati y’imyaka 20 na 50 bamarana n’abo bakorana igihe gikubye inshuro enye icyo bamarana n’inshuti, ibyo rero bigasa n’ibyikora ubwabyo.
Vanessa Bohns, umwarimu ku myifatire mu bigo wo muri kaminuza ya Cornell muri Amerika, umaze igihe yiga ku mateka y’urukundo mu bakorana, ati: “Ntabwo bitangaje ko abantu babonera neza abandi ku kazi, kuko akazi ni ko gafata igihe kinini cyacu”.
Niba uburyo bwari busanzwe bwo kubona umukunzi burimo guhinduka cyane, (urugero ubu benshi bahurira kuri internet, kandi si benshi bagihuzwa n’inshuti cyangwa imiryango), ababonera urukundo ku kazi bagize “igice kigaragara” mu mibare, nk’uko Madamu Nicole Baker abivuga.
Ibi rero ntabwo byahindutse cyane no mu gihe cy’icyorezo, igihe aho noneho kuganira kw’abakorana byari byisanzuye bitarimo kwikanga ijisho rya chef cyangwa abo mukorana.
Icyo gihe bamwe mu bakozi banakoreraga mu ngo z’abandi bakorana bakundana mu gihe akazi kakorwaga ‘à distance’.
Nicole Baker ati: “Igihe cyose abantu bakorana bafite ibyo bahuriyeho, hazakomeza kubaho rukuruzi y’urukundo hagati ya bamwe muri bo, baba bakora bari kumwe cyangwa batari kumwe.”
Ubusabane n’ibirenze bwo
Kubwa Amie Gordon, umwarimu ku mitekerereze y’abantu wo muri kaminuza ya Michigan muri Amerika, wiga ku mitekerereze iganisha ku gukundana, ku kazi ni ahantu heza hatera kwiyongera kw’ibintu bibiri by’ingenzi mu gukurura umuntu.
Kumarana igihe kinini n’umuntu “bishobora cyane gufungura inzira yo gukundana, kubera impamvu zose, tuzi, zitera umuntu kwifuza; “ubusabane no guhuza imibiri”, nk’uko abivuga.
Icya mbere, uko tubona ikintu cyangwa umuntu kenshi, ni ko dushobora kumukunda. Uko gusabana ni uguhengama kw’imitekerereze “kuva gusa ku kubona umuntu inshuro nyinshi” bigashobora kuzana rukurizi kuri we, nk’uko Madamu Gordon abivuga.
Ubushakashatsi butandukanye bwerekanye ko kuba hafi y’umuntu mu gihe kirekire bishobora kubyutsa ubushake bwo kumwiyumvamo, uko tubona umuntu kenshi, n’uko tuganira na we kenshi, ni ko rukuruzi hagati ya mwembi izamuka vuba.
Iyo ngingo ishobora no gukora kubayobozi baha amahirwe menshi abakozi bamarana umwanya munini na bo.Ubusabane n’ibirenze bwo
Kubwa Amie Gordon, umwarimu ku mitekerereze y’abantu wo muri kaminuza ya Michigan muri Amerika, wiga ku mitekerereze iganisha ku gukundana, ku kazi ni ahantu heza hatera kwiyongera kw’ibintu bibiri by’ingenzi mu gukurura umuntu.
Kumarana igihe kinini n’umuntu “bishobora cyane gufungura inzira yo gukundana, kubera impamvu zose, tuzi, zitera umuntu kwifuza; “ubusabane no guhuza imibiri”, nk’uko abivuga.
Icya mbere, uko tubona ikintu cyangwa umuntu kenshi, ni ko dushobora kumukunda. Uko gusabana ni uguhengama kw’imitekerereze “kuva gusa ku kubona umuntu inshuro nyinshi” bigashobora kuzana rukurizi kuri we, nk’uko Madamu Gordon abivuga.
Ubushakashatsi butandukanye bwerekanye ko kuba hafi y’umuntu mu gihe kirekire bishobora kubyutsa ubushake bwo kumwiyumvamo, uko tubona umuntu kenshi, n’uko tuganira na we kenshi, ni ko rukuruzi hagati ya mwembi izamuka vuba.
Iyo ngingo ishobora no gukora kubayobozi baha amahirwe menshi abakozi bamarana umwanya munini na bo.
Ariko ibyo ntabwo birangirira ku kwegerana k’umubiri gusa.
Nicole Baker ati: “Harimo no kwegerana mu mbamutima no kwegerana mu by’ubwenge. Haba ku kwandikirana cyangwa kuganira kuri Zoom, na byo ni ukuvugana.”
Ibi bisobanura impamvu urukundo mu bakozi bakorana rutahagaze no bihe bakoraga bari mu ngo zabo.
Uretse gukorana, Nicole Baker avuga ko hari n’ibirenzeho bituma abakozi b’ikigo kimwe bashobora gukundana mu buryo bworoshye.
Ati: “Niba mwembi muri abavoka, cyangwa niba mwarize hamwe, cyangwa niba mubona isi mu buryo bumwe, uko guhuza korohereza kumvikana no kwiyumvanamo.”
Ntawabihagarika, none rero?
Niba gukundana ku kazi ari ibintu bidashobora guhagarikwa kandi bibaho cyane, ingorane bigendana nazo zirahari.
Icya mbere, bishobora kongera ibikorwa by’ihohotera rishingiye ku gitsina mu kazi hagahinduka ahantu habi, bishobora gutera ibikorwa byo kurwanira inyungu.
Akenshi kandi, urukundo mu kazi rushobora gutuma abasigaye mu kazi bumva batamerewe neza bikagira ingaruka ku musaruro.
Madame Bohns ati: “Iyo umwe mu bakozi afitanye umubano na shebuja/nyirabuja, akaba atakiri umukozi nk’abandi, ibyo bihindura umwuka mu bakozi. Ntawuba akimenya igikwiriye.”
Ariko rero, kuko urukundo mu kazi atari ikintu kigiye kurangira, inzobere zimwe zijya inama ko ibigo bizi ubwenge biha uburenganzira bwo gukundana hagati y’abakozi babyo ariko bikagenzura ko batarenga imbibi z’ibikwiye gukorwa mu kazi.
Johnny C. Taylor Jr ukuriye ikigo SHRM ati: “Uburyo bwiza bwo gukemura iki, aho kwifata nk’aho ari ibintu bitariho, ni ukugikurikirana neza.”
Niba ari wowe ntangiriro y’urukundo ku kazi, inzobere zigusaba gutekereza neza ku mpamvu zawe maze ugashyira ku munzani igikwiye n’ikidakwiye.
Niba ukundana n’umukozi cyangwa n’umukoresha, inzobere zikugira inama yo guhita ubimenyesha abashinzwe abakozi no kuba wasaba kwimurirwa ahandi n’umukoresha.
Ariko niba usohokana bisanzwe n’umuntu mukorana, igikorwa abantu benshi bafata nk’ikidateje ibibazo, ni ubushake bwawe kubibwira undi muntu aho kubibwira abashinzwe abakozi, nkuko Nicole Baker abivuga.
Baker avuga ko guhisha abo mukorana imibanire yawe n’uwo mukorana atari inama nziza, ko ahubwo bakwiye kubimenya hakiri kare.
Ati: “Uko umuntu ategereza ngo avuge umubano afitanye n’undi, ni ko abandi bibaza ko uhishe ikintu kandi bakabibona nabi.”
Nubwo bwose hari amategeko n’ibihe bitera ibibazo, inkundo mu bakorana zizakomeza kubaho, kandi kubera ziriya mpamvu z’imitekerereze ziriho, biragoye kunenga abakorana ko bakundana.
Ariko ni ingenzi cyane ko abakoresha bamenya inkurikizi zabyo n’uko babyifatamo hagati yo kubigira kirazira no kubigira ibisanzwe ariko bakabikurikirana cyane.
Ariko kandi, inkuru zose z’urukundo ku kazi ntabwo zirangirira mu munezero w’urukundo uhoraho, si igitangaza cyane kubona isura y’uwo mwakundanaga, kuri écran yawe mu nama kuri Zoom buri gitondo.
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